Do you ever fear you'll end up alone. The thought comes and goes for me. I don't know what it is. On a casual, friendly, very shielded level...a safe level, I love talking to people. Engaging people. But something about me...I can be vulnerable, just not forever. Maybe because I fear so much that others will leave me, I leave them before they can leave me.
And it's not that I really leave, yet I still do, in a weird way.
You see, I tell myself that I'm nothing like my Dad, and so by not literally leaving people, it's like I'm not like him. But me avoiding people, not seeking them out, etc, etc...it's the same thing.
I fear a lot of things. So many things. Why do I constantly question if the Lord is real if I so often find my shelter in Him. Is He real? Am I good enough, cause I don't feel like I am.
I feel like everyone missing something with this God thing, if He really does exist. Why do we complicate things? Love is all you need. All we need. It's at the center of everything the Bible teaches. No good ever came from anything else at all.
Love is our only hope, so why not love in everything?
I don't want to be alone. I'm not. But if I keep down this road, my luck won't keep up forever.
